There is good thing about hiding.

I always say “I’m okay” whenever someone asks me. Some say this is the commonly used quote to end the communication process; however, how can I really admit the fact that something’s wrong when no one bother to listen and to understand? Nonsensical.

When I reach college and feeling home sick, I practiced handling my own hitches such as: allowance, expenses, school projects, misunderstanding with my friends, etc. I have nothing to do but cry because I don’t want other people even my family feel sorry for me because I also feel the same way for myself.I still have one more year to finish my degree and I am not so sure if I can make it. I am tired asking for future - what will happen after I got my degree? Will I be really in the field of my chosen career? Will I be happy or find success in this world where I chose to get into? Hmm.. I’m so anxious about it.

I am busy impressing my family because I know they expect a lot from me. They’re hoping that someday I'll be in the field of Broadcasting where I am the one delivering the news. I am careworn that I’d frustrate them but of course I won’t. I know they want the best future for me where I can prove something for myself. I miss them whenever I feel down and under pressure, I hide the pain and I won’t dare to tell them. The pain is in me, it hurts inside but I need to become persevere because maybe something worthy awaits me; still, I’m okay and I’ll be okay because this the only way I can be dependent and prove something for my family and self.